70 Rules of Defensive Driving
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Twenty One Things Your Burglar Won’t Tell You:
1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last
week cleaning your carpets, painting your
shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom
when I was working in your yard last week.
While I was in there, I unlatched the back
window to make my return a little easier.
3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have
taste … and taste means there are nice things
inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out
always make me wonder what type of gaming
system they have.
4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on
the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in
your front door to see how long it takes you to
remove it.
5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a
neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the
house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead
giveaway.
6. If decorative glass is part of your front
entrance, don’t let your alarm company install
the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That
makes it too easy.
7. A good security company alarms the window
over the sink. And the windows on the second
floor, which often access the master bedroom-
and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put
motion detectors up there too.
8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella,
and you forget to lock your door-
understandable. But understand this: I don’t
take a day off because of bad weather.
9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for
directions somewhere or offer to clean your
gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)
10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock
drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the
bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
11. Helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’
rooms.
12. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to
break into that safe where you keep your
valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take
it with me.
13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent
than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant
to leave your TV on while you’re out of town,
you can buy a $35 device that works on a
timer and simulates the flickering glow of a
real television. (Find it at faketv.com.)
14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I
dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do
my best to never, ever look like a crook.
15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and
nosy neighbors.
16. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a
little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud
sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to
hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll
just go back to what he was doing. It’s human
nature.
17. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay
all that money for a fancy alarm system and
leave your house without setting it?
18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for
signs that you’re home, and for flat screen
TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or
walk through your neighborhood at night,
before you close the blinds, just to pick
my targets.
19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your
Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to
look up your address.
20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack
during the day is a way to let in a little fresh
air. To me, it’s an invitation.
21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the
door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk
right in.
Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina , Oregon , California , Kentucky, security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs crimedoctor.com; and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.
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